The first time I heard Master Life Coach Brook Castillo's name she was being interviewed by Amy Porterfield, the host of my favorite podcast "Online Marketing Made Easy."

(Episode #217: Why Aren't You Taking Action).

At the time, I didn't know what life coaching was but I had heard of it.

I was pretty sure a life coach would be just as helpful to my life as a magician.

Amy, an entrepreneur who generates multiple millions of dollars annually teaching listeners how to market and grow their businesses online, explained that she was a member of Brook's monthly membership program and credited Brook with helping her reach "impossible goals."

Amy asked Brook to discuss the mindset that her listeners should adopt to help them create the results they wanted in their businesses.

Amy Porterfield had never steered me wrong, and something Brook said that day intrigued me, so I  added Brook's podcast, The Life Coach School to my weekly playlist and before. i knew it I had committed to Brook's $297 monthly membership, Self Coaching Scholars.

That was almost two and a half years ago.

My Self Coaching Scholars Membership Changed Everything 

Brook's teachings are centered around the idea that we can create the results we want by changing our thoughts.

She explains that this isn't something she invented, it's just the way the world works.

The teachers inside Self Coaching Scholars address topics that affect all humans, using  ideas and concepts from some of  the world's brightest minds throughout history. They work to help their clients/students  understand ancient ideas by, using current examples, plain talk and a MODEL through which any situation can be run

Brook Castillo's Life Coach School certifies life coaches to work with clients using this model, that they simply call  "The Model," and her Self Coaching Scholars program teaches individuals how to use The Model to affect change in their own life. 

The Model  goes like this:

A Circumstance (pure facts that anyone in the world would agree are certain)

Creates a Thought

That generates a Feeling

Which drives an Action

And leads to a Result

I've learned that contrary to what most people think,   it's NOT OUR CIRCUMSTANCES that drive our feelings and actions which lead to our results, BUT IT IS OUR THOUGHTS about our circumstances,  that create our feelings, drive our actions and CREATE OUR RESULTS

I've heard Brook give many examples similar to this:

If your mother-in-law said "listen, you talk too much when you are at Sunday night family dinner," you would probably feel something right? I'm not sure if you would feel mad or sad or annoyed... but there would definitely be some heat happening in your body, correct?

Her words would make you think something, then feel something which would  drive you to act:

You might make super snarky, passive-aggressive comments when you see her that embarrass you as soon as the words come out of your mouth:  "I was just at a board meeting and everybody loved my new ideas."

(inside your head you are thinking "OMG Karen, get a grip!")

But it feels like you can't help yourself.. plus,  if she just could just understand how awesome other people think you are she would be super sorry and quit saying rude things and you would feel better, right? So maybe just a couple of obnoxious comments on your part would be OK?

Or you might completely avoid her, and not take your kids around to her home like you usually do, but then your kids would start to miss their favorite grandma and you'd be the mean mom!

For sure you would complain to someone, correct? You would say to your husband,  "I'm so sad, your mom really hurt my feelings." Or you would vent to your best friend, "that woman is infuriating!!"

Whatever your style, there might be drama in your life for days!

But if that same woman, who I had never met before walked up to me in the grocery store check-out line and said "listen, you have got to take a breath when you are at your family dinner.. no one likes a blabbermouth." I might get offended for a brief instance, but then I'd realize I had never met this woman and decide she was crazy, right?

I probably wouldn't give it a second thought and would go on with my life.  I mean it might be a story I share with a rare friend that chooses to call instead of text while I'm driving in my car on the way home, but no madness, or sadness or worry I'm ruining my kids forever, and by the next day I would have completely forgotten about it.

Same woman says words.

You thought some version of "how can my mother-in-law say such a thing?" and spiraled from there, while I thought "wasn't that strange," and went on from there?

What I've learned from Self Coaching Scholars, in the scenario that I just described the daughter-in-law actually has a choice. Even though maybe her mother-in-law "should" have acted differently she could have chosen to think "well, isn't that strange," and move on too!

She could have thought "oh MIL, she is always up to the same old thing, giving unsolicited advice to me as she does to everyone else. I am so thankful she is in my kids' life, I don't mind putting up with it." And not think of it again!

We can't control other people but we can control our thoughts around them.

And THAT is something I have learned in SELF COACHING Scholars!

I've learned that other people can't hurt my feelings!  It's ME that hurts my feelings by the thoughts I choose to believe about other's actions!

And before you get too stuck on that mind-blowing sentence, let me share

 8 More Revelations I have had In Self Coaching Scholars.

1. I  Don't Have to Believe Everything I  Think.   The human brain has over 6,000 thoughts a day and about 75% of them are automated by our primitive brain to protect us from danger. But the deal is our brains haven't caught up with Evolution. They want to protect us from danger and keep us safe in the cave. Often, to reach a BIG GOAL, we have to decide not to choose the safe thought our brain is feeding us. Read more about Brook's thoughts on our "lizard brains" here.

2.  My purpose in life wasn't something I would have magically discovered.  My purpose wasn't bestowed on me at birth and it would not be revealed to me after a long prayer or meditation.  I can choose my life's purpose and live into it and if I decide I want to change my mind and select a different purpose, I can do that too!.

3. I was born 100% valuable and 100% lovable.  I do not have to do anything or earn anything to be worthy of all that life has to offer to me, including love. And neither do you! So therefore I should treat you, and all humans, accordingly and not look for justifications of why I am worthy of love or greatness. 

4. Life will always be 50/50. Other pastures are not greener. When I reach my goal and get a bigger bank account or house, a better job or a  new thing, or admission to a new club,  life will still be 50/50.

I set goals because I WANT TO because it is FUN,  Accomplishment can be rewarding and inspiring to others, including my children!  But I don't have to wait to be happy. I should always strive to enjoy the ride.

In fact, learning how to be happy in any situation will serve me well.

But my goal in life is to have the full human experience not be happy 100% of the time.

5. I can not change a human. Adult humans have the privilege of being  "grown-ass adults," as Brook says, and adults get to do whatever they want to do!

But I do have the ability to change what I think about the actions a human takes. In one scenario I am a victim, in the other, I have power and control.

Therefore, the other person in my relationship(s) doesn't even have to change to make our relationship better.  Speaking of Mother In Laws.. my relationship with my husband's mother has gone from frustrating to fabulous and she has no idea there has been a drastic change, or even any change, for that matter. 

6. Money is generated by an exchange of value and value is generated from my mind. To create more money, I need to create more value and I can use my mind to make that happen (Mind-blowing, right?).

7.  Selling is all about explaining the value I will provide to a potential customer which will entice her to give me her money! . If I don't close the deal it's probably because I didn't offer the potential buyer enough value, or more than likely, I am offering enough value but  I didn't do a good job of communicating the value that the customer would receive to her when we work together! 

8.  I choose to buffer away feelings by eating chocolate, drinking wine, or shopping for clothes (it just depends on the time of day, HA!). None of those things are bad in and of themselves, but excessively doing any of them can be harmful. 

But if I know eating, drinking, or shopping in excess are harmful, why don't I just stop?

Well, I can just stop. And I have many times. 

But that only works for the short term. Brook explains it's like trying to hold a big beach ball underwater. You can picture how hard it is to keep that ball underwater for very long right? In the end, it always pops out away from you!

Brook teaches that the way to stop repeating an unwanted habit t is to decide to feel the feeling we are trying to cover up with the buffering! 

Want to quit drinking wine while your kids are doing homework? Maybe you're drinking wine because you are BORED with the kid's homework. And instead of beating yourself up because you drank wine (and then needing more wine because you were so mean to yourself) maybe you can just sit with the boredom. Wasn't it your mom that said boredom never killed anyone? Learn more about Brook's teaching on buffering and the solution which is identifying the underlying feeling and then feeling it here.

If the worst thing is a feeling, then I can just decide I can handle that feeling and skip the buffer! The cool part is that facing the underlying feeling usually dissipates it, or at least lessens the intensity!

$297 is about the same price I would pay for one hour of therapy where I live in Miami, Florida.

And to me, my membership in Self Coaching Scholars has exceeded the benefits I have received from an hour of therapy, thousand times over, not that I'm discounting therapy.. I'm just trying to express Self Coaching Scholars is amazeballs!

Check it out for yourself here and let me know if you have any questions.

Speaking of My Monthly Memberships

I have purchased two courses from Brandi Mowles and am now a member of the subsequent memberships. She taught and still teaches me how to set myself up for FAST GROWTH and how to efficiently and effectively operate an online, service-based business. 

This month she is offering a FREE, LIVE training workshop to help you learn to price your services and stop questioning what you should charge. 

This training series is LIVE and only happens once per year!  I encourage you to check her out!

This training series is live and only happens once per year! 

Click here to register for the free training series.